Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.
Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.
Friend: Ok I can see it...
Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there.
Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this.
Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you.
Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl.
Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet.
Friend: I hate you...